Exploring Beyond The Comfort Zone

Without question, there has been a lot of discomforts that we’ve all experienced in 2020. And the recovery from COVID-19 will be an uphill battle that we will all have to learn to navigate.

So why
 would I suggest that you should explore beyond our comfort zone when all we want now is to be comfortable?

Simple. I want to prepare you for what’s to come. The recovery from COVID-19 will not  be back to a familiar reality. Instead, we will emerge from this crisis into a new normal that will continue to challenge our comfort zones. In the coming weeks, months, and years ahead we will need to depend on a fortified resilience that enables us to thrive throughout this new experience.

Experience, the teacher

What if I told you that we all live in our own personal bubble? 
And that the bubbles are made up of our limiting beliefs about ourselves and the world around us. And that our ability to fully embrace and engage in this world is based on the size of that bubble. This bubble is our comfort zone. We all have them yet some are more constricted than others.

In order to expand our comfort zone, we must learn to become comfortable with the uncomfortable. This doesn’t mean we no longer have fear, anxiety, or a lack of self-confidence. This means that we’ve determined that on the other side of those paralyzing emotions, there is something worth pursuing so we face our constraints in hopes of liberation.

The absolutely best way to achieve this liberation is through new learned experiences. I’m making the distinction of learned experiences versus lived experiences because the former requires reflection on the experience while reflection may not occur in lived experiences.

Reflection is the key component that makes the shift 
between experiencing something new and assimilating the doing and being learning opportunities of that experience. Otherwise, we go through life in a zombie state of existence, repeating the same destructive habits and becoming no wiser.

Novelty is also key for learning to take place. Without it, the experience would not wake us up out of our routine view of life. Novelty allows us to go through the entire experience eyes wide open, seeking, and consuming the new.

Consider these two examples. In the first, you drive along the route to work that you habitually travel but instead you are the passenger. This is a first for you so you take in all of the sights, discover new things along the route you’ve never noticed before, and realized the tree line is vibrant with life.

Sticking with the travel theme,
 you travel to a new country. Upon landing, you start to take in all of the differences. Your ears hear a different language, your eyes admire the architecture, your nose delights in the spices being used to cook the food that your taste buds are about to consume.

In these two experiences, you take the opportunity to reflect through journaling and discovered how you were, what you felt, and what you learned through these novel experiences. The fears that you had were found not to be true. The anxiety you felt was replaced by excitement and anticipation. Your self-confidence was bolstered by having accomplished something new.

So as you can see, experience becomes the best teacher you’ve ever had because it opened you up to possibilities that you thought were not available to you. These possibilities were outside of your reach largely because of the bubble that constrained your experiences…the comfort zone that limited you.

Experiences are a powerhouse of personal and professional development
 that allows you to embody learning like nothing else. Especially as we ensure that these experiences include:

  • Novelty to wake us up for the mundane of doing and being
  • Reflection to embody the learning
  • Noticing to take in the new
  • Vulnerability to allow ourselves a moment of insecurity so that we can take part in a perspective-shifting experience.

In this trying time, it may seem impossible to engage in such an experience that would yield this benefit. I’ll offer that this thought is only part of the story. There are a number of innovative ways that you can undergo transformative experiences that shape and develop you…while having fun.

Coaches and Educators

An aspect of supporting your clients and students means to support their development through learned experiences. We at the Plaskett Institute, believe that transformative experiences have the ability to wake up our clients to the reality they have the power to shape and grow deeper in their understanding of themselves and the world around them.

Our new course, Architecting Transformations, is a comprehensive master course that teaches you the levels of facilitating experiences that can result in a more open, inclusive, liberated, and purposeful individual that show up to life fully present. This course is coming in Summer 2020. 

6 Must-Know Strategies for Embracing Complexity



Well, welcome to October and for me, welcome to fall allergies. If I sounded a little funky, that’s the reason why.

Hey, listen, I want to be able to talk about complexity. You know, we don’t give enough credence to complexity and our ability to embrace it. This week’s episode is [called] The 6 must-know strategies for embracing complexity. Complexity is something that we tend not to embrace. In fact, we shy away from it. As we grew up, we learn to simplify everything that we possibly can. We look in terms of black and white [without] having an appreciation for the shades of gray that’s in between.

This type of thinking causes us to have a very narrowed view. In fact, there’s a term for this type of thinking and it’s called Either/Or Thinking. With Either/Or Thinking we are constrained with either and or. It’s either this or it is that! It either is or it isn’t! Either black or it’s white!

This thinking has its place and it’s very functional in certain areas. But as we look at the human dynamic and the human experience and the fullness as it is to engage in this world, Either/Or Thinking has its limitations. It’s is too restrictive to deal with all the complexities that we have to hold as human beings. Especially as change agents where we are here to help embrace the transformation and evolution and the development of individuals.

So if Either/Or Thinking is too constrained then what is more embracing?

Before we even go there, let me give you an example of what I mean by Either/Or Thinking. The question becomes, “Which one is more important: inhaling or exhaling?” Now, as much as you want to be able to figure out which one is more important, I don’t care how you slice it, they are both critically important for your survival; for the function of breathing. You need both inhaling and exhaling.

So if you apply Either/Or Thinking here, the result is that you don’t have the opportunity nor the time to think about the question because you would have a limited capacity to be able to either inhale or exhale and not do one or the other. That’s exactly what I mean by either or thinking – it limits our ability to embrace polarities. Inhale and exhale is a polarity.

The options that we have available to us then is Both/And Thinking. If we’re going to look at polarities, then a polarity of Either/Or Thinking is Both/And Thinking. In order to function as openly and embracingly as we can in this human experience [we need Both/Anding Thinking]. It opens us up, it’s more inclusive, it’s more inquisitive, it gives us the ability for further options, options that are not available to us in Either/Or Thinking.

There is a term that the U.S. Army War College came up with called VUCA: Volatility, Uncertainty, Complexity, and Ambiguity. This was a means in the late 1980s to describe the world that has emerged. Certainly, in the 2020s, we have fully embraced such an environment where we have disruptions of technology that’s doing such a number on the world. And in that, we have to be able to embrace and have an appreciation to now embrace complexity as we’ve never done before in our human history.

When, when we were growing up, we learned how to simplify things with Either/Or Thinking, but because we did that, that didn’t cause the complexity to go away. As an example, as an adult male, you have a spouse, you have children, you are a father, you are a role model. You are a husband. You are a professional. You are a change agent. You are a coach. You are an educator. We hold many roles. I can’t simplify myself to be this one thing. Yet, we were taught to simplify ourselves into be one thing…to be determined as one thing. We are able to hold more complexity than we often even realize. And in that complexity, we can now embrace the fullness of who we are. In complexity, we can embrace and have a more open and inclusive understanding of the perspectives of the world around us. See, with Both/And Thinking as well as Either/Or Thinking we have more perspectives that we can hold and in doing so it becomes more of a challenge. We’re moving from a simple view of the world to a more embracing, more complex view of the world.

When we’re in this space, we need to be able to learn how to deal with it. This requires more mature thinking, a more mature process to be able to hold polarities. There are six strategies I want to be able to share with you right now on being able to hold these complexities.

#1: The first one is Surrender the Need for Control. See in Either/Or Thinking we have a clear understanding of the options before us and therefore we have an ability to control. But when you have Both/And Thinking, when you’re able to embrace the complexity, that’s when you don’t have so much of a clear understanding of all the options because the options are infinite and therefore we have to surrender the need for control.

#2: Which brings me to what we need to come to understand is there are Temporary Truths, meaning that in the moment, this thing may be true but in the next moment it may have altered and shifted and what was true no longer is. Now, in the present, is a truth that we hold. This thought [process] embraces development and evolution. So to say that there is only one truth and forever constant means that there is no growth and development in our understanding. You see when we are able to embrace temporary truths, that means that we understand and we have an appreciation for our growth and development and evolution. Knowing that we will change over time.

#3: Next is that we have to Embrace Diversity. Now certainly when [diversity] comes up it is usually around racial diversity and that is also true – we need to embrace diversity – but what I’m also talked talking about is every level of diversity. I’m also talking about diversity of thought, diversity of being, diversity of options.

When we are embracing complexity, we therefore also have to embrace all of the perspectives, all of the options that come with it. You may have heard the common phrase, “There is more than one way to skin a cat.” Now, I’m not sure of all of the ways that you can skin a cat, but certainly, this is a description of the multiple roads that you can take in order to get to the same end result.

#4: Trade Assurance for Flexibility. In multiple options, there is less assurance. But in order to embrace in a whole complexity, we need to have a counter to the lack of assurance and the counter to or the polarity of that is flexibility. Flexibility gives us the necessary amount of [room] to move around in the, in the situation, in the circumstances, in an environment to embrace all of the options that are available and figuring out which option is best in the moment that you need to make the decision.

#5: Which brings us to Embracing Systems Thinking. This is quite noticeable in technology: in the past when we were able to look within the small confines of our system/organization/being we were ok. What systems thinking says, is no longer can you look at just your small piece of the pie, but you need to look at the larger part of the entire pie and how this small piece affects the overall.

One of the better examples that I have of this is in a traditional school system in the United States. The United States has these subjects and each of those subjects are taught specific within a silo and there is no integration across the whole. What this means is that if I’m teaching mathematics or science or history, I almost always teach them within those silos. But what if we can then take this, this mathematical thing that we are teaching and we can embrace it across history and science?

When we’re able to integrate across the system we can embrace the whole in order to get a better result and a better understanding and appreciation for how this small part affects the greater whole.

#6: The most powerful strategy is Look As versus Looking At. When we Look As we are putting our feet into the shoes of the other person and we are taking on empathy and having an understanding and appreciation and a perspective from their vantage point.

When we Look At, it is as if we’re looking through a microscope and we are observing from afar. In doing so we’re providing and passing judgments. We have no appreciation for Looking As the individual, as the organization, as the entity, and being able to have an appreciation for understanding and empathy of what they are going through, what is happening.

When we’re able to Look As instead of Looking As, it opens up our ability to handle and appreciate the complexity that’s going on instead of Looking At from a judgment perspective which is only a single vantage point of our own. When we’re able to truly put our feet into the shoes of others and I have an understanding and appreciation for what they’re going through, not only does it give us empathy, but it also opens up our perspective. It gives us more inclusiveness and inclusion and it allows us to ask more questions. And in doing so, learning more.

These are the six strategies for embracing and dealing with complexity. The latter being one of the more important ones I believe that you can embrace and hold today.