An Exercise of Trust

Summary:

  • How our vacation to Mexico changed the way that we engaged with others
  • What is Trust Tolerance™ and the benefits it has on leading fulfilling and rewarding experiences
  • The 3 areas of Trust that we all have to explore at some point in our lives
  • Watch the entire video to get the full lesson
  • Download the worksheet that accompanies this blog post so that you make the most of your learning
  • If you are an agent of change (coach, consultant, educator, etc) and seek to cause transformations in the lives of your clients, download the Human Transformation Canvas, free.

Transcript:

About two years ago, my wife and I went on an amazing vacation to Mexico. And what made that vacation so great, so amazing, for us was that it took us out of our comfort zone. Really, we made a commitment that in order to have one of the best vacations that we’ve ever experienced, we had to go beyond our growth edge, beyond our comfort zone. We committed to trying new things which meant that we were going to take on risks that we wouldn’t normally take on. And in doing so, we had one of the best vacations ever. What’s more, we learned about ourselves and how we interacted with the world. Really, it was an exercise of trust. What we learned was our trust tolerance. A trust tolerance is made up of two things: security and vulnerability. As we looked at security, we’re concerned about the physical, emotional and psychological security. How much of our feeling of security are we willing to release in our trust of others? As we looked vulnerability, we are most concerned about psychological vulnerability. How much vulnerability are we willing to take on or engage in? The lessons that we learned through this experience of exercising our trust tolerance, we were able to apply to other areas of our life than just our vacations. We’ve taken and applied it in other areas of our lives and certainly in our businesses.

Trust In Strangers:

The first area of trust I want to cover is the trust in strangers. And when I’m talking about trusting strangers, I’m not talking about someone you are sort of familiar with. I’m talking about absolute strangers. When we went on vacation to Mexico, we knew no one. When we got there, we had to absolutely trust in the greatness of humanity. And can I tell you we thoroughly enjoyed the people we interacted with throughout our entire vacation. And it really reenergized our hope and trust in humanity and not be consumed with what we see in the news or the media. Trusting in strangers, allows us to stretch the limit of our self awareness. Before we develop our capability of trusting in strangers, we go in with a set of preconceived notions. But as we trust in others who we have no engagement, no relationship, no involvement with what we begin to learn is a greater self awareness of how we engage with others. Trusting in strangers open up avenues and channels for us to learn and experience other people’s worlds and in doing so it opens up our worldview and gives us the ability to have a greater empathy and an understanding of the world around us.

Trust In Yourself:

This second area of trust, which is tied to the trust in strangers, is trusting in yourself. Specifically, we were looking at trust in our decision making ability and trust in the ability to recover from any decisions that may not have gone as expected. So here’s the thing about decisions. Decisions move us forward. When we don’t have an ability to make decisions, we are stuck. What’s worse, we are stuck in quicksand and we’re sinking. We’re sinking into not being able to make a decision because we have a paralysis of analysis. We come up with every reason under the sun as to not make the decision and of why the decision is such a difficult one to make. Decisions move us forward. When we have the ability to trust in our decisions and trust in our ability to recover from decisions, that’s when we know we can take on a little bit more risk. We can take on a little bit more of an ability to say, “I am willing to do [this] because I have confidence in myself to make a decision that is going to be a good one or make a decision that I can recover from.”

Trust in the Safety Beyond the Comfort Zone:

The last area of trust is trust in the safety beyond the comfort zone. Every single person on this planet has a fear or concern about the unknown. You don’t walk boldly into the dark as you walk boldly into the light. As we have a concern about the unknown, the only way to resolve that concern is to make the unknown known. As we’re looking at our growth edge, we tend to be comfortable with the box that we live in…until we come closer to the edge and certainly beyond the box we are in. The only way to realize the value in everything that this edge provides is to go beyond it by making the unknown known. Once we reveal the unknown, it becomes known and that knowledge causes us to feel safe at what was once our growth edge. There’s safety beyond [the growth edge]. Even if you don’t know that [today] the safety is there. All we have to do is start to become more aware [not as trivial as I made it sound]. We start to press against the growth edge until the box [that we live in] begins to expand and we become comfortable in the unknown. You see, especially in the expert space, there is an understanding that we must know all things and the truth is we can’t know all things. We must learn to get comfortable in knowing that we can’t know all things. In these three areas, we’re evaluating our trust tolerance and when we’re able to do that, we can have a more fulfilling and engaging experience; relationships; business acumen [example of any area of life] for example. There you have it guys! This is an exercise of trust in three areas:
  1. Trust in strangers,
  2. Trust in yourself, and
  3. Trust in the safety beyond the growth edge.

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